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After contemplating whether a shot is 176 yards or 178, ends up hitting it 150.

Favourite expression: "I can't decide if it's a hard 7 or a soft 6".

Has perfected the balancing-phone-on-the shoulder wedge shot. Would be crushed to learn she offered the same flirty laugh and bag of nuts to foursome of geeks up ahead.

Favourite expression: "We'll take four beers and one more smile, darlin'".

Not as sympathetic: When he announces his ball somehow stayed in bounds - with a clear shot to the green!

THE FRAT BOY Defining characteristics: Unable to fathom a round of golf without a steady stream of adult beverages. " CIGAR GUY Defining characteristics: The easiest golfer to locate on the course thanks to waft of smoke trailing behind him.

Oblivious to playing partners struggling for air - and the ash droppings on his belly. " THE SANDBAGGER Defining characteristics: The 15 handicap who is somehow playing 'much better' than he has in years.

The next day his foot itched like hell and had a sore on it. " The doc said "You think that's rare, I had a woman in here this morning with athlete's pussy".

He went to the doctor and after an exam the doc told him he had syphilis of the big toe. ORSM VIDEO UNSOLICITED SWING ADVICE GUY Defining characteristics: Knows exactly how to fix your swing even though you didn't ask.

Employs a vast array of swing jargon that only confuses you further. " THE HUMAN RAIN DELAY Defining characteristics: Thinks he is honouring spirit of the game by never picking up.