Women who are intimidating to men
Nothing big like earning one million or one billion dollars, but still things I’m proud to have achieved nonetheless.
For example, in school, I was a Dean’s Lister and graduated top in my specialization of Marketing.
For a long time, my biggest struggle was that by being so “strong”, “powerful”, and what have you, I would be unfeminine.
For while I’m driven, passionate about achieving success and mildly accomplished in my own right, these factors are considered masculine, “yang” (as in yin-yang) qualities, and are not necessarily things that men look for when considering a romantic prospect. This is especially the case in Asia, where males prefer to have female partners who are more easy-going and less opinionated.
Since becoming more prominent in my career would naturally make me a more powerful character, men would find my persona/success too intimidating and hence back off from pursuing me, rather than consider me romantically.
The reason, the researchers conclude, has to do with threats to masculinity (which are far more acute when the man actually has to meet the woman versus when this woman is merely a hypothetical concept).
The further I “climbed”, the harder it seemed for me to find a guy who could match my achievements.
People often speak of the archetypal lone career woman who is highly accomplished yet barren in her love life, and I could see myself gradually trawling into this direction.
Market Watch asked psychologists about how men can overcome bias (if they have it) against smart women.
First, “remember that each of you has many positive attributes,” says psychologist Elizabeth Lombardo, author of Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush your Inner Critic and Create a Life You Love.
“Feelings of diminished masculinity accounted for men’s decreased attraction toward women who outperformed them in the live interaction context,” the researchers wrote.